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In Stylista's Perfect World...


...Kiera Knightly would wear this tremendous Dior masterpiece

Some of you might think this gown could be a one way to ticket to the shit list. But I think not.
Albeit Knightly is built like a model, she has never really reached her full fashion potential.

If anyone can pull off this avante-garde couture look, she can. I think Stylista has a new favorite! Drool, people!


Oiginal photo source: Style.com/composite by Stylista

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In Stylista's Perfect World...


...Angelina Jolie would wear this magnificent Atelier Versace gown

Can you picture it, people?! Angie, walking the 2008 Oscar carpet — in Brad's bulging arms — in this regal showtopper!

It's toooo much for me. *Faints*

I'm so f*ing sick of seeing her in black. If I see her in another black dress, I would have to neuter myslef! She could bring so much justice and juice to this ensemble—so much that it would make me want to adopt children of my own.

What's wrong with her? Doesn't she know she needs color?! Somebody get this bitch some color now and help her look like this!

Original photo source: Style.com/composite by Stylista

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In Stylista's Perfect World...


...Nicole Kidman would wear this fabulous Armani Prive gown

Imagine if Nicole walked into this year's Oscars wearing this, people! It would be...it would be...so...so...orgasmic!! Charlize would just die. I would just die!

She's been in a fashion slump lately. This is the sort of earth-shattering comeback she needs to retain her throne as queen of the bloody carpet.

Pray people! Pray!


Original photo source: Style.com/composite by Stylista

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Hall Of Fame


Penelope Cruz in Ralph Lauren at the Oscars

Up until that night, nobody knew who the hell she was. But when she stepped out in this regal, romantic, and muy glamorous gown — well, nobody still knew who the hell she was.

This image has stuck with me all these years. It remains one of my favorites of all time.
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Red Carpet Slugfest:
Penelope vs. JLo

1. The Spanish Señorita



Who wore it first? Penelope
Who wore it best? Hands down Penelope.

Well, duh...she's Spanish — and she embodies this look to perfection. JLo is from Puerto Rico, by way of the NYC 6-train, who is trying her very hardest to look like Sophia Loren here, with tranny-esque results. Work!

2. Gimme Some Sash


Who wore it first? JLo
Who wore it best? Penelope. Again, hands down. This Carolina Herrera number fits her beautifully. Doesn't she look 6 ft. tall here?

JLo, tell me who did your hair and we'll have that queen neutered. Tragic!

3. Severe Drama


Who wore it first? Penelope
Who wore it best? It's a tie. For starters, they both look like drag queen impersonators of themselves. JLo. the orange wonder, is unable to move her face from her hair pulled back so tight.

Penelope sorta resembles Mr. Bean here, I don't know why I think that. But she's at Cannes, and there's no other place to wear such fabulous bling than Cannes. Oh, JLo says the Oscars. You're right JLo. Love your bling too.

4. The Virgin-White Halter for Non-Virgins


Who wore it first? Penelope
Who wore it best? Penelope. She looks very chic in this enemble, and the touch of gardenias in her hair is absolutely adorable. JLo is her usual sexpot self.

Here, our beauties are both accompanied by two of the world's shortest men. And can anybody tell me why everybody becomes a fashion icon after hooking up with Tom Cruise? You know — Nicole, Penny, and now, Katie?

...wait! I do know why!! *Wink*

5. The Princess Diaries


Photo source: www.gossipgirlz.de

Who wore it first? JLo
Who wore it best? I'm giving this one to JLo —by default, because Penelope looks even more like Mr. Bean in this one.

Both gowns are stunning. JLo's Marchesa needs to be worn by someone skinnier and taller. Penelope's dress does not deserve this lame excuse for a hairdo.

6. The Beige, Strapless, Versace, Oscar Showstopper



Photo Source: Style.com

Who wore it first? JLo
Who wore it best? What do you think? You can't do a dress justice if you look like a poodle from the neck up! Hair dresser? Neutered!

Penelope's gown is breathtaking, albeit in person, it looked rather filthy and stinky and heavy. But the the detail work in the bodice is gorgeous.

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What Happened to You?

Hillary Swank in Armani at the Armani Prive Runway Show

I didn't think it was possible to look dowdy and skanky a the same time. But here, Hillary clearly proves me wrong!

And in case you're wondering who made this shitastic dress, it's right behind her in big bold letters! Giorgio must be proud!

The Katie-copied hair; that dress; the cinnamon sticks pasted on her breasts; those shoes — all truly hideous. *Puke*


Photos: Justjared.com

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Hottie You've Never Heard Of


Odette Yutson in J Mendel at the Cloverfield Premiere

I'm thinking, "Is that Jessica Alba?" But then I thought, "Wait, she's fat now...or pregnant or bloated or something."

Stunning. Perfect, perfect, perfect. Who the hell is this bitch and where did she come from?!

Me like more!


Photo: Justjared.com